Wild Keys

Ahh, the Black Keys just sound soso good in my ears sometimes.
Thanks, headphones.

The weight of a medium creek stone rests on my chest tonight. It seems I have failed again to understand someone's attempts at friendship. Maybe, I wonder, that I wanted more, so I took the platonic attempts as more. I feel like I have failed again. Well. Could be on the other's part too. Oh humans. Jeezus.

I have observed my thoughts and feelings on relationships recently. Upon evaluation, it's safe to say I'm interested in a relationship with someone. I suppose I interpret this as being with one of the opposite sex, and for it to be intimate in nature. Intimate as in a close exchange of ideas, thoughts, and ways of living.

After watching Into the Wild last night, though, I'm thinking about the comment of Chris's where he says "People look for happiness in relationships. They don't have to. What we need for happiness is already all around us." This is paraphasing, but the main idea remains: whatever you translate as happiness for yourself can be found at the ready for you.  I interpret this for myself as distributing my urge to love to those around me, and to do so very well. Loving makes me happy. I've been unfulfilled because I thought I couldn't be happy without another of the opposite sex to shower my love upon. Now I see I have all the tools to make me happy: I have love; I have people to love; I have people who will appreciate my love.

Aww, snap!

I still don't understand boys or relationships or people.
But I get love and happiness and myself a little bit more.