Corn Chowder & The MultiColoredLighteningBikeRide

You should never give everything of yourself away.
Somethings should be kept sacred.

I was thinking earlier, getting overwhelmed with school decisions and doubting my choice and whether I'd be able to support myself more easily at the end, and if any of this would be worth it, and also, should I continue to make art. What a silly last question to end with. Seriously?
Oh brain. Please stick to reasonable questioning.
Not that I am roped into being anything or doing anything, but to doubt a serious love and way of life just because I'm not sure how lucrative it will be or how much others will need it or how it will turn out? How will anything turn out?
If I want to paint, I will paint.
If I want to photograph, I will photograph.
If I want to make sweet designs for products, then I freaking will.
And that's it.
I don't have to worry about the hows and why right now. That will come.
All I need to know is that I want to do it, and I can do it.
I will be okay, as well. More than. And I'll have lots of fun journeying along as well. I have awesome friends and times and things to do other than just a job or contribution, though those things are also worthy. However, I don't have to reevaluate my life purpose as a result. Jesus.

Tonight was romantic, as she commented after the fact. I was suprised to realize the fact. I wasn't expecting romance. At most, I hoped for a less-than awkward interaction.

It was one of those unexpected times that turn into a moment. The dripping shadowy trees, dark shiny streets slickened with rain, lightening flashing through the leaves and branches and moss, and the squares' lamplights glowing around the people and asian bikeriders as we looped around them and and turned to each other and looked and talked and laughed and smiled a little too. Oh, it was so fun and nice. Talking and discussing and following the meandering words and street and time slipping like sand until we left each other and it suddenly became a sandbag tossed out the window...falling away from memory now instead of being created.

For some reason, I assume he's why it's not awkward. But then again, I have impact on that situation as well. Maybe he's better versed at being at ease with himself. Or maybe I am too. Whatever it is, it is very nice.

My heart hesitantly floats on tethers.