I find myself obsessing about my moods. If I don't wake up happy, I'm unhappy. I'm not embracing the day; I'm funkified, whatever. And then I think I just exacerbate the situation by being unhappy with myself.
One cannot be happy all the time. Today I compared how adults and children handle this fact of life. Adults deal with unhappiness or bad moods by internalizing it, taking it out on others, or, most intelligently, running very hard. Kids, however, have temper tantrums and display their emotions by kicking, screaming, making a scene, and, by others' standards, being a bit ridiculous. At least they are making fools of tjust themselves as they voice the shittiness they are experiencing inside.
I have decided that I am going back to this method. It just makes more sense. Get rid of the repression, enter the expression! I'm going to make sure everyone knows how I feel, and when I'm feeling shitty, even if for no good reason, I'll throw a tantrum. You know, throw my sippy cup on the ground, break a toy, kick the dog. Damnit, I may even throw my carrot sticks at you if you're pissing me off.
Maybe this is why people go crazy. They try to acclimatize themselves to the proper way to interact with others and display themselves in this world. There becomes this "good" and "bad" way of expressing oneself. I think we should just try expressing fully, joyfully or shittily, all the moods that pass as we experience being human. Embrace the shit; don't deny it.
After all, everyone has a bad day now and then. Let's keep it now and then and allow ourselves to throw our tantrums.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
A Thursday
I've been pondering what makes a brain tick the most efficiently. Sometimes I feel invincible and that I am accomplishing everything, in addition to being amazing. And at others, I feel a fog come over my brain, and I feel I can do nothing, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to.
Thus far, this helps my brain continue to function in a logical and healthy way:
And a few things which don't help me and box me in more:
Thus far, this helps my brain continue to function in a logical and healthy way:
- exercise that makes me push myself
- frequent exploits that take me outside of my house
- interacting with others, even if it's just the mailperson or mechanic down the street
- being outside
- yoga
- realizing I'm not some machine and need to take and have tangible breaks and rewards
- funny things which make me smile & laugh
- travel
- picking flowers
- doing things the right way & with purpose
- acknowledging others
- approaching life outside the box; entertaining each encounter as an opportunity
- getting outside of the routine, but sticking to it enough to manage my time wisely
- planning to go to culture and society oriented events
- embracing and recognizing my hard work
And a few things which don't help me and box me in more:
- seeing routine as a chore rather than something that helps
- viewing people as interaction to be avoided
- sitting in front of the computer for hours
- lamenting "wasted" time
- feeling frustrated and comparing myself to others instead of celebrating my differences
- letting little things blow up to big huge atrocities in my mind
- fearing things like money, pushing myself, pain from exercising
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