Tonight I researched outdoor jobs. I am wanting to move, somewhere. I've got that itch. I don't think it leaves, and I think ignoring it becomes a large part of my depression, when it appears.
I feel torn, wanting stability and also wanting to run far, far away from that and be free to do and be whatever in the hell I desire. I want to be something/one signifcant and do things that are good, but I have so many things! Shoo, boi.
I mean, I be applying to grad school, then I'm researching travel and whatnot, and what do I intend to do with that? Everyone knows once you go to grad school, that is the plain end of adventuring. You get your job and then you retire to that lifestyle.
Heck, though.
I want to frolick through the woods and across this earth.
I also want a home to return to and belong to.
I want to make awesome awesome amazing art.
I want to help the little childrens see how awesome they and life are.
I don't want to be tied down to one place. I don't want to be roped into anything.
I want to be out west. I want to be in an unstable place. I want to wander. I want to climb mountains. I want to meet others who are brave enough to do the same and embrace the chaos of life.
We'll see.
